Drawing by Melanie Corzo, 18th of December 2019
I haven’t had trouble discussing the importance of online identities in the past, there was a sense of ease when discussing online identities when it wasn’t completely personalised but when asked to come face to face with my own online identity, I hesitate.
I didn’t believe I had a solid online identity to speak of – more like a sprinkle of various online pseudonyms, quite a few selfies and a record of what some may view as, obscure animal rescues.
Taking A Look Back
What I didn’t consider was that my online identity began to develop in 2003, as a 13 year old who took a somewhat all consuming, enthusiastic interest in the 90s television show, Xena: Warrior Princess. My first instinct after Xena captivated my attention was simple, do a google search.
To my surprise, I discovered a large online lesbian community that gathered on forums like Talking Xena and XOC to share and discuss the lesbian subtext that occurred on the show (among other things).
Navigating the lesbian fandom surrounding Xena: Warrior Princess online became instrumental to helping me explore my own sexual identity in a safe space. I was able to create my first online pseudonym (msmely) to discuss character arcs and the same sex romance that occurred within the show with other fans in an online environment that affirmed positive messages of lesbian identity. This was not possible for me to do in my offline life as discussing questions and ideals regarding sexuality among my peers was not an option.
Fox, J & Warber, K (2014) discussed how research has revealed that queer internet users found safe and accepting environments online and these interactions were often beneficial to the users psychological well being. This revelation is a far cry from the wave of panic many parents experienced in the early 00’s when discovering their children interacting with strangers online. Today, these online interactions with queer fandom or queer identifying people via social media apps such as Tik Tok is where most kids who will come to identify as LGBTQ first see or get to know LGBTQ identifying people (Polletti, A & J, R p. 171).
So while the online identity I built as a confused teenager wasn’t quite in line with the fierce warrior I looked up to, I was introduced to an online community I am still a part of today. This community has continued to have an impact on how I’ve moved through my various online identities including my lesbian identity. Through the years, I discovered other fandoms, and used a few other pseudonyms to go alone with them. Becoming a little more clever with my pseudonym choice as the years went on.
I was now in my early 20’s and out of the closet, these online identities were still important to me and brought me a sense of freedom. I could share my thoughts that I wouldn’t particularly want to post on Facebook for my family to see because they still had some struggles with accepting my identity. This is a common feeling among LGBTQ young people who may find security and control in their coming out process due to the privacy settings of social media apps (Bates, A, Hobbman, T & Bell, B 2020, p. 62)
A DIGITAL SELF PORTRAIT
When it’s come to Instagram, I’ve definitely been one to take the ‘selfie’ route. Personally, selfies have always been an aspect of my self expression howevevr I didn’t really believe I had much of an online identity on Instagram beyond this.
While brooding in my dilemma of not feeling like I had much to contribute when it came to my personal online identity away from online fandom, I began to have a series of cringe worthy 90s style tv action show flashbacks to acquaintances asking me about how my pigeons were going and telling me about a Xena reboot in the works. This has happened pretty consistently through the years.
You know! The other day I saw a pigeon and thought about you. Oh! And! Did you hear Lucy Lawless is in a new show on Channel 7”
– someone I’ve bumped into and most likely only met once or twice
Intentional or not, my online identity has become pretty clear to many. I’m a selfie taking, pigeon loving, Xena fan. I’ve created this online identity for myself by choosing to film myself while doing various pigeon rescues and posting about Xena events consistently.
As I move forward with my online identity on Twitter, even though this new account @MelanieCorzo1 I’ve produced is less of a fandom account and more of a professional/student networking account, if you choose to follow, be prepared to still see the odd pigeon tweet or two because I believe there are certain aspects that will always be part of my online identity.
Bates, A, Hobman, T & Bell, B (2020) Let Me Do What I Please With It…Don’t Decide My Identity For Me“. LGBTQ+ Youth Experiences of Social Media in Narrative Identity Development, Journal of Adolescent Research, SAGE <https://journals-sagepub-com.ezproxy-b.deakin.edu.au/doi/pdf/10.1177/0743558419884700>
Fox J & Warber, K (2014) Queer Identity Management and Political Self -Expression on Social Networking Sites: A Co-Cultural Approach to the Spiral of Silence, Journal of Communication, The Ohio State University <http://eds.b.ebscohost.com/eds/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?vid=1&sid=731488b8-87aa-46eb-a434-b67097ee81ea%40pdc-v-sessmgr01>
Poletti, A & Rak, J (2014) Identity Technologies: Constructing the Self Online, University of Wisconsin Press, <https://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/deakin/detail.action?docID=3445384>
a different perspective 